Oh the madness!
by silvershadowling
Summary: What do you get when the Warden, the Mistress, an OC and the twins get together? MADNESS pure sweet chaotic intoxicating madness. M for language, smut   actually has a plot though  and of course violence. Read and review hilarity is just a click away.
1. Mac and cheese for life

I own nothing here. Charters and setting and such are from Superjail which i too do not own.

fyi there will be an oc later

Oh the things that will go down in this story...

The Twins looked at each other in a state of shock.

"Oh dear! That is most unnatural!"

"Yes it is. How is that even possible?"

"Most unnatural my head hurts."

"How did it get to this brother?"

"I do not know. Perhaps that day we hacked the camera's again."

"Oh yes THAT day"

...

"Sigh...sigh...humph! SIGH!" The Warden proclaimed.

"Oh what's the matter Warden?" Asked the always nervous wreak of a male, Jared.

"What's the matter? What's the matter! The matter is...I am here in this chair unentertained! At least with Jailbot 2.0 I was entertained. Oh don't look at me like that Jailbot."

"But sir he tried to kill you!"

"Yeah so what! And I'd forget al about that whole square boring productive bull crap since he at least gave me television and that vibration mode, Oh yes that was nice..."

"You know sir if you really want we can throw another movie night."

"Yes...I suppose that would have to do. But I want something exciting later on Jared!"

"Yes Warden!"

"Oh Alice, To what do I owe the pleasure." The Warden said suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

"Uh..." Alice said pushing him off of her, "The Mistress is here."

"Her! Ugh, I don't want to see her face here again! The last time I saw her she fucked up my beautiful Superjail! Tell her to get the he-"

"Warden I seem t be in need of your...um...assistance" She gritted through her teeth.

"Oh I see how it is. Come in here begging hmmm? Well I don't know if I want to help I mean you did take control of my SuperJail."

"Please we crashed landed, we where being chased by intergalactic space monkeys and when we finally lost them we crashed down to your SuperJail island."

"Hmmm...Space Monkeys huh..."

"I'll do anything Warden. Anything." She said with a look of a mixture of both disgust and contempt in her eyes.

"Um no thanks. been there done that. And while I must admit it had been number five on my top ten list of sex nights, I'm currently saving myself for Alice."

"Ugh." Alice replied.

"Fine then I guess well have to try not to drown as we cross the ocean on foot." The Mistress said storming out.

"Sir! Please I beg you to reconsider this!"

"Now why would I do such an atrocity like that?"

"Please sir! Sharice is on there! Please sir I'll even... go out everyday and buy you some macaroni."

"With cheese?"

"With cheese! Please sir!" Jared begged the swear on his brow pouring profusely down his exceedingly large forehead.

"I don't know...remember they are nothing but pure raging hormones. Must I always be the responsible one here. Oh jailbot be a dear and ask them to stay here but only in the east wing. Far away from me as possible."

"Oh thank you sir!"

"Now go and get me some macaroni."

...

Well I hoped you enjoyed. Not mayhemmy enough for you Not to worry more chaos and fun to come! Just don't forget to review, they are life points you know.


	2. Situation

Again I own nada (otherwise The Warden would be in my bed right now)

Oh boy here we go! heheh!

...

""Warden! Warden we've got a situation!"

"Jared! What the hell! Chill man...AND Where is my macaroni?"

"Here sir. I found an intruder! On your island. She's on the beach sir! She's seems to be hurt."

"Oh Jared I don't want another person wandering endlessly around here. I have enough to worry about! Much less a sick person. It might have germs...wait did you say she?" The Warren said with his mouth stuffed in macaroni.

"Yes It's a female down by the sea!"

"Oh I bet she's wet isn't she...yes soaking wet...Jailbot! Bring this...girl here."

And off Jailbot went to get the girl.

...

"Wakey Wakey! It's not time to be sleeping you know? I'm the Warde-!" He said as the girl got up from the bed, grabbed his hand and some how put him into a chokehold.

"Where the fuck am I!"

"Your in Superjail you little bitch!" Alice yelled taking her hands off of the Warden. Alice grabbed the girl by her neck and slammed her against the wall. The poor girls feet kicking in agony until she hit Alice in the nuts.

Alice then let go of her and the girl crumpled to the floor.

"Ooh I never had two girls fighting over me!" The Warden crackled through the screen as the Twins watched.

"Oh this is interesting."

"Yes very."

"It needs to be amped up a bit."

"Yes but how?"

"We'll come up with something."

"I...wasn't...fighting...over..you." The girl wheezed.

"Oh sure now you deny it. What's your name?"

"Nelly...Nel for short."

"Thats very nice. how did you get here?"

"Huh? What do you mean isn't this your jail you tell me!"

"Jail...JAIL! HOW DARE YOU CALL THIS a...a...JAIL! This is a SUPERJAIL! The best jail known to MAN!"

"Sorry! I haven't had time to look around. One day I'm at a pool the next I'm in this...jail? I mean how the hell did I get here? Where the fuck are we exactly and how can I go back?" She yelled.

"Well we found you on the beach passed out. See!" He said tugging at her swimming top. Nel slapped his hand away before it went up any further.

"Passed out huh...strange...I remember going under the pool to see how long I could hold my breath."

"Ah yes that is fun. Unfortunately you can not leave. You see, here on this island, the planet goes into a vortexes and stays there for some months. So you can't leave."

"How many months?"

"Oh a few...twelve months or so."

"A YEAR!"

"Hey chill down! You can get a job here if you want, and it won't be so ad living here. I mean come on I am here so thats already a bonus!" the Warden said admiring himself in a near by mirror. The girl just stared and hit the floor.

"Oh dear gone to sleep again! Sigh won't she learn it is not sleep time yet! Oh well Alice she'll just stay in this room if you don't mind."

"Fine with me. But I swear if she touched me again I'll kill her."

"Oh no no no Alice! You mustn't kill her! She likes me! And if she likes me she simply must stay! I mean it is not every day I get to meet a new fan." He said.

And so Alice left the room as The Warden continued to look at himself in the mirror. he eventually put it down and looked at the girl, She looked cold so he put her in the bed and covered her up and left.

...

"A vortex. Brother I think this might work in our favor."

"Yes indeed."

"Oh this shall be fun."

"Yes much fun."

"I tingle with excitement."

"You did get rid of the fly's did you not?"

"Yes I did. Why do you ask?"

"I think it is time to use the left over crystals for some...special arrangements."

"Oh ha ha ha ha that will be a riot."

"Yes ha ha ha ha. It will"

...

Oh boy what are those twins up to now? Any suggestions?

To be answered in the next issue: what Nel looks like, how old she is, what is Alice going to do, what will the mistress think about the vortex and many more!

(Don't forget to comment! :D )


	3. Need to get drunk

Hehe hope you guys enjoy again I own nothing since Superjail belongs to titmouse. I did write this and hope you enjoy and such. Yay story time!

Later that day

...

"Jailbot! Oh hey, fetch me my slippers and carry me on to bed. I am tired and require my beauty sleep! My face doesn't stay this awesome on its own!"

Jailbot came in and carried the Warden while he chatted away mindlessly about his day. Jailbot listening of course to please the man.

"Ow! not so rough jailbot! sheesh!" He said as he took his clothes off.

"You can go now nighty night."

meanwhile...

Nel woke up and looked around, she was still in the same room as before and on the bed again. Maybe she was in a hospital...or a looney bin... Then the news came back toto her all at once flooding her with an overwhelming sense of dread. She was going to be stuck here for a year. A whole year with that crazy perverted man, and the transvestite named Alice. Who else would she meet here? She got out of the bed and looked down at a dress left at the edge of a desk in the corner of the room. She picked it up gingerly. It looked like someone had thrown together a couple of towels and sticked them crudely and proceeded to cut holes in them for the arms and neck area. Well it was that or walk around in a bikini top and swimming trunks all day. Nel put it on and walked out the door.

In the superbar...

The mistress looked down at her drink. Only one more hour and she would be free to go from this horrible hell hole of a place. The only good thing about it here was the tequila shots offered. Never took them in her office herself since that would be most unlady like but here she could. She really needed one after being rejected by the Warden to Alice. The last time she got laid was with him. She was too uptight to go around sleeping with too many men but those damned spanish flies had loosened her up. She swallowed the drink.

"Hello, Mistress." Jared said twisting his arms nervously.

"Yes? What so you want? Did Warden send you? Because if her did tell him the offer is gone."

"Uh no it's not that, uh. you see, there's this uh-" Jared mumbled shaking with nervousness, sweat pouring down his face like a waterfall.

"What! Spit it out! Don't just stand there wasting my time!"

"Uh, well it seems the Warden forgot to mention the fact we're in a um...vortex and won't be leaving for another year." He said wincing. The mistress stared at him. Her icy glare piercing his soul freezing him too the spot. Suddenly her face turned bright red and she yelled at the top of her lungs!

"Warden you son of a bitch! I am going to get you! God fucking damn you!" she yelled off running at full speed toward the Wardens room. She burst the door open and found the warden trembling in fear under the blankets naked.

"You disgusting foul evil pig! What the hell! Did you really think it would be funny too keep me here? Huh?"

The Warden stuck his head out from the purple sheet.

"Hehe...I forgot to tell you..."

"If you think this is some sort of joke...You'll be sorry. I am going to get you when you least except it you son of a bitch!" She said and stormed out of the room. The warden stared at the door with a slightly terrified look in his eyes, then calling what he thought was her bluff laid down and went back to sleep, to dream of Alice in a bunny suit...

...

The mistress looked down at the vodka shot in the cup. Drank it.

"more"

Jailbot poured her another shot.

"Give me the whole bottle." she stated, and grabbed it. She then took a swig of it, the taste piercing her throat. If she ever needed to get drunk it was now. Suddenly a girl in the most horrible ragged dress sat next to her.

"A beer please."

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" The Mistress slurred.

"19...only two years away. Anyway it's not like the normal laws apply here. If I wanted too I could walk on the ceiling." the girl said.

"Right. Who are you? The Wardens or Alice's girlfriend?" she asked laughing. The girl cocked her eyebrow.

"Nelly, Nel for short. And I am neither one of their gf. I just showed up on the beach one day. Now I am stuck here for a damn year so I think I deserve a beer. You?"

"I'm the Mistress, owner of Ultraprision. I crashed here and found out I am stuck in this damned place for a year too. I am going to get him, Warden. Hate that pathetic lowly man."

"Meh. He can be a pervert but I don't hate him. Alice on the other hand...I think she might just kill me in my sleep"

"Sleep...I wana sleep." The Mistress mummered and with that her head hit he table as the empty bottle of Vodka slip from her hand as she went off to dream of ruling the world with an iron fist."

-Lol well wasn't that fun! I wonder what the Mistress is going to do? Oh and the twins do not worry they are plotting and Alice well...she's being Alice and torturing people. Q's should Nel and the Mistress have a "fling"? idk...so many possibilities :3 we'll just have too see how this plays out. Nighty night Warden.


	4. Wakey Wakey

I do not own anything...blah blah...now story time :D

"Great now I am alone" Nel said. She shrugged it off. It seemed that here in Superjail you had to look out for yourself or suffer the consequence. She moved a strand of her raven hair out of her face, and tucked it behind her ear. She leaned back in her chair and looked at the scene in front of her. Some guy was punching another one, no wait now biting his ear, and ooh! The other guy tore off his arm and preceded to swing it around like a bat and got his hand caught in the fan above, which caused his body to be chopped up. A brain piece landed on the floor and someone stepped on it and slid strait into the jukebox which then fell on top of him crushing him until his eyes popped out.

Oh boy this was a huge mess. Nel got out of her seat and headed towards the door, but not without getting someone else's blood on her first.

"Gah! This was my only god damn dress!" She yelled. She frowned and stormed out of the room her hand in a fist. Why did she have to get stuck in this madhouse?

...

"Brother, brother I have news."

"Oh what is it?"

"We are not going into a vorext."

"What?"

"It is a tesseract."

"A tesseract indeed...Stupid Warden this will be much more fun"

"yes much fun."

"hahaha"

"hahaha"

...

The next day the Warden got up at nine o clock to Jailbot's alarm system.

"I'm up! I'm up! Geez Jailbot, you know you shouldn't scare a guy up like that, might give me a heart attack...why don't you play something more soothing like the sound of a wave or something?"

Jailbot merely gave him a frustrated look.

"Oh whatever!" he said with a flip of his hand, "Take me to my operating room!" he said. Jailbot picked him up and flew off to the highest tower in Superjail, The Wardens office.

"Oh Jailbot look at my awesome super duper Superjail! It never ceases to amaze me!" he said wiping away a tear.

"I know! I will give Nel a tour of the place! Jailbot bring Nel here so I can show her around!" he said. Jailbot flew off to find the girl.

...

Nel woke up with a knocking on her bedroom door.

"What is it?" She mumbled still half asleep.

There was no reply so she started to close her eyes. Another knock.

"What!"

No reply.

"Goddamit can't even sleep here." She mumbled and got up to open the door but before she got to the door it was cut open with a chain saw.

"The Fuck!" She yelled jumping back and ducking behind the bed out of the way of the flying splinters and what not caused by Jailbots demolition of the door.

Jailbot simply picked her up and flew her over to the Wardens headquarters.

"Jailbot put me down!" She yelled at him. He did but only after getting permission from the warden.

"You! What do you want?"

"Oh well right now I want icecream with a cherry ontop with my sweet sweet underneath and a whole lot of whipcream...hmmmm yes..."

"Ew! No I meant why did you wake me up."

"Oh I wanted to show you Superjail! I'm giving you a tour."

"...yippee...I feel so excited." She said sarcastically.

"Yay! I knew you would be excited!" He said grabbing her hand and leading her to his little tour bus.

"This is the captain The Warder speaking I will be driving today keep your hands and feet and head inside at all times unless you want to die!" He said.

Nel blanched a bit at that.

"Ready lets go!"

"Over here is the kitchen." He said pointing out a room filled with huge bubbling boiling pots filed with what one could only assume to be food.

"Heres the furnace." he said as the car went down into a hot room with a huge furnace. There where a few men putting things in the fire, some of those things seemed to resemble body parts.

"Oh oh heres the prisoners rooms!" he said as the car went back up into some other part of the jail. Cat whistles, screams and cusses filled the hall of the prisoners living quarters. A few of the men tried to grab at them or the car only to have their fingers and sometimes even hand chopped off by the car, which had extendable hands like jailbot.

"Thats the jail yard. The prisoners play and exercise there." the Warden explained with Nel sitting silently at his side.

"Did you built all of this." She said finally speaking.

"Well jailbot did most of it, it would have never been possible without him...well at first anyway...why...do you find my genius...attractive." he said snaking his arm around her waist.

"Eh...no..but I am impressed...I mean this is genius...incredibly mad and insane but genius. I have to appreciate it." She stated trying to pry his arm off with no luck.

"I knew you would understand! Nel I think we are going to have a wonderful time!" He said smiling triumphantly.

"Hehe...right...before you go all touchy touchy on me mind giving me some oh I don't know...real clothes?"

"Why bother wearing any clothes at all?" he suggested wiggling his eyebrows. nel only smacked his head.

"Ow! ow! Geez no need to be so harsh! Fine..just let me finish the tour." he said rubbing the side of his head.

I thought it might be about GD time for me to update hehe...sorry guys. Oh new SuperJail episodes come out on September 30(?) or so I heard from a little birdie don't quote me on that. Hope you enjoyed i will try to put the next ch up soon.


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